Lay’s Do Us A Flavor 2017 Taste Test

I love chips. Love ’em to death. They’re the reason I’m so pleasantly plump now (those aren’t exactly the words my mom would use, but SHADDAP MAAHM!!!). I remember the Do Us A Flavor challenge when it started in 2013. I only ever tried the Chicken and Waffle flavor because my mom and sister had suddenly become obsessed with that dish, and every year after that I had to miss out because they both suddenly wanted to be healthy and annoying – two things that always seem to go hand in hand.

I was absolutely floored when freakin’ Kettle Cooked Wasabi Ginger won in 2014. As someone who has tried and hated both of those things, I was thoroughly disappointed in the US when it won, a pattern that has persisted to this day.

Anyway, since I had five bucks on hand I figured I’d try the newest flavor suggestions for myself in a little taste test and tell you guys about it. So, how did the new flaves fare?


Fried Green Tomato (Wavy)

This flavor was submitted by a fellow named Greg Pope from Charlotte, North Carolina. The little blurb on the back of the bag says that it “remind[s him] of [his] childhood in Georgia.” Honestly, fried green tomatoes were a part of my childhood, too. They are a current obsession of my dad’s.

Now, I know of the Tomato of Fried Green, but I’ve never eaten a Tomato of Fried Green – forgive me Alabama I know I’m a huge let down because of that, I know – because while I love all things fried, no tomato of any color has ever been a fave of mine. But if these chips are any indication of what the actual dish tastes like, I may be inclined to change my mind.

Maybe.

I say maybe because I’m getting more of an onion and garlic powder flavor than I am a tomato of any kind. Definitely tasting that salt and a bunch of other spices. I’m getting something more akin to a soft, more subtle jalapeno flavor, but you know they can’t remake the jalapeno flavor because that’s been a flavor since I was in, like, middle school. So, maybe if they tweak the recipe a little bit, this could be a really good flavor, but right now, it’s good and spicy but sort of meh. It’s got a good lingering flavor, which is more than I can say for the other two flavors.

I would give this one a 4.5/5. Good job, Greg.


Crispy Taco (Regular)

This flavor was submitted by Ellen Sarem from San Antonio, Texas. This was the flavor I was most excited for and the whole reason I bought all three bags and decided to do this taste test. Like Ellen’s fiance, I love beefy tacos, I’ve recently become obsessed with these chicken tacos from a local restaurant, and lemme tell you…!!!

Unlike the Tomatoes of Fried Green, I’ve had plenty of tacos in my life. Some I’ve certainly enjoyed, some I’ve DEFINITELY hated. I’m not usually one to eat the same thing over and over again, it eventually makes me not like a dish or it just straight up makes me sick, but I can go for tacos just about every other day the way some people do with pizza.

So tell me why…why why-why why-why-why-why…why am I SO…

giphy

I really can’t decide whether this chip tastes like lettuce and Taco Bell mild sauce or lettuce and a generic taco seasoning you find in the “ethnic foods” aisle in Publix. There’s definitely a lettuce-y flavor somewhere in there definitely though. It’s got a softer spice than the fried green tomato chips but the flavor doesn’t linger; it pretty much disappears damn near after you finish the dang chip. It’s like you never even ate a chip save for the mashed residue in your teeth. And what beef is there to speak of? I don’t fuckin’ know. It’s like Lay’s was having a hard time remembering the contents of a beef taco, and in the middle of a meeting someone just shouted “There’s lettuce in there right? And sauce?” and no one else could think of anything, so they just told the folks to make sure to get the lettuce and sauce flavor and that’s it.

1/5, sorry Ellen. I hope the tacos you make for your fiance are better than this, otherwise that engagement might be short lived.


Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese (Kettle Cooked)

If you vote for this flavor, I will find you, and I will smack your kneecaps off.

What other flavors got rejected in favor of this monstrosity?

It came as no surprise that the whitest piece of Wonder Bread from Palm City, Florida Lindsay Hoffman suggested this flavor. Not only does the bag smell like a plain bag of unseasoned, unsalted kettle cooked chips, Lindsay looks like a plain bag of unseasoned, unsalted Kettle Cooked chips. How on Earth do you suggest two flavorless foodstuffs as a flavor of chip? CHIP???

Anyway, enough about Lindsay. Let’s talk about these chips.

0/5. What the fuck Lay’s?


So, those were the three new flavor suggestions for the Lay’s Do Us A Flavor contest. Be sure to go to the website to vote for your favorite and to enter yourself in a sweepstakes for prizes. This is not a sponsored post (but I wouldn’t mind a lifetime supply of cheddar and sour cream chips). Try ’em out and let me know which one was your flavorite, and as always have a fantastic day!!! BYE!!!

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I blog about things on this here blog that you're reading right now. Things like movies, food, anime, whatever grabs my attention. I'm big into pop culture criticism, so that's mostly what you're going to get here, but I also write short fiction as well as fan fiction, so I may share that with you all some day.

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